Meeting You in Xingtai is Not a Fairy Tale
In the darkness, I open my eyes but see nothing, hearing my phone say, “Sorry, the user you are calling is temporarily unavailable…”. Though I know he has turned off his phone, hearing it still makes my heart tighten and ache, plunging me into the silence of the night.
When he is around, I am often unreasonable; when he is not, I miss him dearly. Even now, I don’t know what love is, but if “your well-being is my sunny day” can explain it, then I think this is love. Despite the countless times we’ve brought each other to tears, we’ve also laughed and forgiven each other just as many times.
It is he who spoiled me into arrogance, so whenever he talks a bit more with other girls, I immediately accuse him of cheating. My tears of anger and jealousy can cross the distance between us, breaking down his defenses and leaving him nowhere to hide. Besides him, I don’t know any other man in the world who can tolerate me like this. Only he can. He is the legend embedded in my bones, flowing in my blood, residing in my soul. He is the pledge of love I can’t escape or avoid.
Sometimes, I don’t want to bring him up because guilt overflows from my heart, fearing that my behavior might not live up to his world. Yet, when I’m tired, recalling his words is like a spring refreshing my parched field. When I’m agitated, remembering his cheerful laughter is like jasmine fragrance filling my small room. He is an ink pot, soaking my rice paper, writing a story of deep affection.
What he gives me is a breeze carrying the scent of wheat from the fields, and I want to give him the intoxicating blue sky every time he looks up.
That version of myself who cries to him at the slightest difficulty cannot offer him more peace of mind. Without accumulating enough resources, how can we face the ups and downs of tomorrow with a smile? Without a future, talking about “holding hands and growing old together” seems rather forced and somewhat ironic.
I don’t want to see the sorrow across the shore or hear the silence of strangers. I just want to wait for the day in the early spring of a farmhouse when he picks a budded pear blossom and places it in my hair. Though not worldly, it is still enjoying the quiet beauty of the years.
I like to silently call his name. These three words don’t have the tenderness of “I love you,” but they surpass in longing, with a subtle and quiet charm unfolding in our emotions. I don’t hope for our love to be like a Qiong Yao novel, nor will I mimic TV dramas by eating fried chicken and drinking beer in the first snow. I look forward to the first snow of next year, making a lifetime wish with him hand in hand, because wishes made on the first snow really can come true.
Experience is a magical thing; a single moment’s thought can change a person. I am no longer the girl lingering in passion and fantasy. Now, I cherish true feelings in their simplicity.
“If I meet you in Xingtai,” every time I read this article, it feels like seeing my future with him. In the future, I must be steadfast, not confused; brave, not weak; persistent, not giving up. I will believe every word he says and support everything he does. No hiding, no pretense. From the bottom of our hearts, we will know and keep each other, long and lasting.
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
