Marriage is like wearing shoes

Before getting married, I had “warned” my boyfriend: if we didn’t have a house, then I wouldn’t agree to marry him! However, when my boyfriend proposed to me after 7 years of unwavering love, the deep bond we had accumulated over time triumphed over the need for a house.

On my 27th birthday, we walked into the wedding hall as a couple.

After marriage, we squeezed into a small, old house of about 70 square meters with our parents and younger brother. Each pair of us occupied a room, leaving our brother to sleep in the living room. Living with parents brought many inconveniences; not only did we have to be discreet when being affectionate, even arguing had to be done quietly, turning disagreements into whispered conversations.

When feeling particularly aggrieved, I would sit alone in the cramped room, tears flowing, while my husband, looking helpless and guilty like a child caught misbehaving, would stand beside me, trying to console me. Over time, even my in-laws, who had always treated me well, noticed my changing mood, sometimes looking apologetic, which made me feel guilty.

In October of 20xx, when my husband’s younger brother was getting married, we had no choice but to rent a place outside. During that time, we endured the hardships of renting: our first rental was robbed shortly after moving in, leaving us with nothing; the second rental had terrible conditions, with a damp environment causing our clothes to mold within a week; the third rental was an old wooden house that caught fire due to a short circuit in the wiring…

Dealing with harsh and materialistic landlords, the humiliation of being dependent on others made my husband and me feel desolate.

Five years after marriage, in 20xx, at the age of 30, I decided to have a child. However, we didn’t want our child to grow up under someone else’s roof like we did, so we were determined to buy a house even if it meant going into debt!

We emptied our savings from the past few years, combined with some money from our parents, to make the down payment for a 90-square-meter, three-bedroom apartment. Taking out a bank loan with a repayment period extending into 20xx, we finally bought our own home. After some basic renovations, we moved in. Finally, we owned a house of our own! In that moment, we hugged each other in tears of happiness.

Every woman has a beautiful dream. Growing up in a large family, my biggest hope was to have a house that belonged entirely to me, because I always thought that having a house meant having a complete home. Four years after marriage, my dream finally came true, and I truly became the mistress of the house.

However, the joy didn’t last long, as we soon felt immense financial pressure. The company I worked for downsized due to poor performance, and being pregnant at the time, I was among the first to be laid off, leaving me with only 200 yuan per month for living expenses. My husband’s monthly salary was just over 1000 yuan, and after repaying the bank loan, we were left with just over 200 yuan.

With only 400 yuan a month, we could barely make ends meet, let alone provide anything for our new home and future child. After buying the house, our lives entered a state of what people would interpret as “repaying mortgages on time, but unable to afford basic necessities.” The 15th of each month became a sword hanging over our heads, as the bank would take away more than half of our income on that day.

To ease the financial pressure, my husband took on two part-time jobs on top of his full-time job.

Our lives were not affluent, and the economic pressure was immense. The dreams of luxury cars and mansions from my youth had long shattered, and seeing my friends frequently change boyfriends for wealth left me feeling unbalanced. While others enjoyed life, we struggled for survival.

However, when faced with the temptation of money and materialism, I hesitated and became timid. The traditional education I received from childhood taught me that marriage should be enduring and supportive. Moreover, I knew very well that there’s no such thing as a free lunch; if you want something, you have to pay the price. So, I returned to my small world without any regrets, continuing to live a simple yet solid and warm life, as a family of three, finding joy in the ordinary.

Before we had a house, those wealthy friends would often sympathetically ask me: are you happy with this kind of life? Even after we got the house, seeing us busy and struggling to repay the bank loan, those friends would still ask me the same question. Each time, I would answer with a smile.

In fact, everyone has their own way of life, and whether it’s poverty or wealth isn’t the key issue. What matters is whether this way of life suits you. Life is like wearing shoes; it’s most important that they fit well. I am very satisfied with the pair of “shoes” that life has given me.

Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “