maintaining romance after marriage : Happiness is Growing Together
Seven years ago, my husband Zhou Ren and I had a typical “bare marriage”—no savings, no house, and not even decent jobs. We got married right after graduating from university.
We rode a second-hand bicycle that cost 98 yuan to get our marriage certificate. Sitting on the back, I swung my legs and felt everything was so wonderful.
Suddenly, a traffic police officer stopped us and said it was illegal for two people to ride on one bike. I jumped off and laughed heartily, “Officer, we’re on our way to get our marriage certificate. We have to ride together for good luck! If we ride separately, who knows, we might end up going our separate ways after marriage!”
The officer couldn’t help but laugh and let us go, even wishing us well: “May your marriage ride smoothly and last forever!” Zhou Ren turned back to me and said, “Look at us, how awesome! Not many people in this city get such a unique blessing from a traffic officer on their wedding day.”
Keeping our marriage steady like a bicycle ride for a lifetime was easier said than done. After getting married, we realized that every aspect of life—food, clothing, housing, everything—had to be earned through hard work, and dealing with colleagues, relatives, and friends required tact and effort. Within six months, our simple-minded approach left us struggling financially and living in a miserable mess.
Feeling discontent, I began to criticize Zhou Ren for not making enough money and blamed his lack of a wealthy family background. Zhou Ren didn’t hold back either, accusing me of not being frugal, saying that his father earned even less than he did, yet his mother managed the household and still saved money. Our arguments were exhausting. Eventually, I used various tactics to make Zhou Ren write a “struggle declaration,” promising to change our situation within two years, which finally calmed me down.
Not Becoming a “Yellow-Faced Woman” Also Causes Problems
Zhou Ren switched jobs to a large advertising company to run the business, leaving early and coming home late. As the money he brought home increased monthly, my frowns gradually turned into smiles.
One evening, Zhou Ren excitedly told me, “Honey, I’m going solo. You can be my boss lady.” He planned to start his own renovation company, being the boss and employee all in one, handling business, hiring workers, buying materials, and doing design work. The so-called “boss lady” role for me was actually to supervise, run errands, and collect debts. I wasn’t willing. My current job was relaxing, even if the pay was low. I didn’t want to exhaust myself and then have to deal with “mistresses.”
A few months later, probably because he was too busy, Zhou Ren told me he had hired a helper, his former colleague Liu Qun. I knew her—tall, outgoing, and especially good at drinking, known for her effectiveness in business and debt collection, largely due to her drinking ability.
Although I knew Zhou Ren wouldn’t like her type, I still felt uneasy. The saying “proximity breeds affection” worried me—they spent more than ten hours together daily. Even if there was no initial spark, prolonged contact could lead to something. Especially after Liu Qun joined, Zhou Ren started coming home even later, explaining that Liu Qun brought in more business and made him busier.
One late night, Zhou Ren hadn’t returned home. Several calls went unanswered until Liu Qun finally picked up, saying, “Sis, Zhou is drunk. I got him a room at the Seven Days Inn to sleep it off. He’ll come home when he wakes up.” Hearing this, I felt my head swell. My husband was in a room booked by another woman!
I rushed to the hotel, dragged Zhou Ren out of bed, and started to leave. He mumbled, “Liu Qun, let’s have another drink. Working with you is great!” Glaring at Liu Qun, I was shocked when she didn’t back down but instead stepped forward, saying, “Sis, Zhou is exhausted. Let him rest here for a bit.” “He’s my husband. Why shouldn’t I take him home?” I raised my voice. She retorted, “You just enjoy your leisure life daily, never considering how hard Zhou works. You should be more understanding!” Her words hit home because they were true—I seldom supported Zhou Ren.
Becoming His Career Machine
The next morning, Zhou Ren didn’t mention the incident. I realized with a start that he didn’t care about me as much as before. He knew I hated drunkenness, especially sleeping in a room arranged by another woman. Clearly, Zhou Ren had developed a dependence on Liu Qun. If I continued to argue, I might push him towards her.
Reflecting calmly, I acknowledged my neglect of Zhou Ren’s hard work. I focused only on demanding money, then spent my days shopping and pampering myself, sometimes leaving him to travel while he was busy.
I had always thought that as long as I dressed up nicely and kept myself in a pampered state, my love would never leave me. Now I realized my thinking was naive. For a striving man, practicality mattered more. After much thought, I decided to change.
From then on, I transformed. Zhou Ren no longer had to do any housework—I took care of everything. I studied renovation knowledge, helped with designs, negotiated with customers, haggled at material markets, and supervised quality. Zhou Ren became my center. I did whatever he needed without thinking about my life and pursuits. Zhou Ren’s company thrived, renting several hundred square meters of office space in a Grade A building.
One day, I accidentally hurt my hand on-site. Zhou Ren took me to the hospital. The doctor, hearing it was a work injury, looked at me and Zhou Ren and said, “It’s nice the boss brought you here himself, but she lost a lot of blood and looks dusty. She should rest at home.” I froze. The doctor’s tone was full of sympathy for me, thinking Zhou Ren was the high-and-mighty boss while I was just a laboring employee.
Maybe I had a slight cold that day, so the next morning, my head felt like it was splitting. Zhou Ren told me to go to the site later. I felt sad; he didn’t suggest I rest. But I thought maybe the schedule was tight. Soon, Zhou Ren called, urging me to go. I weakly said, “I can’t get up.” He replied, “There you go with your princess syndrome again,” and hung up. Holding the phone, tears streamed down my face. Was this the result of my hard work and “couple harmony”? Looking at my weary reflection, I realized I had lost myself, becoming a mere cog in his business machine.
The Happiest Thing is Growing Together Every Day
Only when I was hospitalized did Zhou Ren realize I was truly ill. He stayed by my bed, repeatedly apologizing, trying to cheer me up. Watching this man, now a mature and refined figure, I felt an intense crisis. He was a successful man, while I had nothing, not even him.
On the day I was discharged, Zhou Ren picked me up. I smiled, “Honey, it’s been a long time since you treated me to Western food. Let’s go today.” That meal lasted an afternoon. I talked about my love for him and my current confusion. I told him I wanted to walk alongside him forever, like the traffic officer’s blessing, but I felt I couldn’t keep up. Initially pampering myself stalled me, and later, being his assistant tied me to him, losing my independence. As I spoke, I felt like crying, realizing my inner repression. Zhou Ren took my hand, saying, “Honey, thank you for your support all these years. Whatever you want to do now, I’ll support you.”
From then on, I only managed the finances of Zhou Ren’s company and hired a part-time housekeeper. I returned to school to study fashion design. Six months later, I opened a small children’s clothing store, applying my studies to creatively alter the clothes, attracting many young mothers. I also opened online and micro stores, designing my own clothes, which became popular.
Eventually, I had three stores with considerable income. I hired salespeople, freeing myself to exercise, do beauty treatments, read, cook, and travel. Zhou Ren’s affectionate gaze showed I was becoming more charming, and our life overflowed with happiness.
Looking back at my seven-year marriage, I finally understood: a beautiful marriage isn’t about enjoying the fruits, but creating together; not about the wife’s glory from the husband’s success, but progressing hand in hand. If the most romantic thing is to grow old with your lover, then I believe the happiest thing is growing together every day under the inspiration of love.
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
