Love and tolerance in marriage: Online Showcase of an 83-Year Love
On March 17, 20xx, our special correspondent arrived at Jinqiao Heng Street in Pudong New Area, Shanghai, holding a photo and asking passersby for the address of a centenarian couple. Surprisingly, someone readily replied, “I know, I know, I’ll take you there.” It turned out that the elderly couple were already well-known “stars” in the neighborhood.
The grandpa, Zhang Mucheng, is 104 years old, and his wife, Xu Dongying, is 105. They are currently the only centenarian couple in Shanghai and recently received a certificate ranking fifth in the “China Top Ten Centenarian Couples” issued by the Chinese Society of Gerontology. With the help of a kind person, the reporter quickly found the elderly couple’s home.
“Please come in, come in!” A woman in her 60s greeted the reporter. The reporter confirmed that she was not the elderly woman in the photo. Seeing the reporter’s confusion, she hurriedly explained, “I am their daughter-in-law.” She turned out to be Huang Xiudi, the “original creator” of the couple’s matching outfits in the photo. “The hats were bought by my brothers.
Later, I planned to buy scarves for Dad and Mom. When I saw the identical hats, I thought, if they also had matching scarves, their spirits would be even higher.” This led to the widely circulated photo of the couple in traditional Chinese-style matching outfits.
“That was taken in 20xx. We didn’t expect it to spread again now. It’s quite surprising and very happy,” said the grandpa and grandma with smiles. Amid laughter and joy, the reporter witnessed the happy life of this centenarian couple unfold before them.
A Bride to Ward Off Misfortune
As the saying goes, blessings and misfortunes come hand in hand. He believed in this principle. Back then, when his mother was seriously ill, his beloved wife came into his life. Their marriage was initially arranged to bring good fortune, but the love in his heart was genuine.
When Zhang Mucheng was 22, his mother contracted dysentery. Although their family ran a traditional Chinese medicine shop, and Zhang Mucheng had been measuring and mixing herbs since he was 15, in that era of extreme scarcity, people were still helpless against dysentery. Seeing his mother bedridden with worsening symptoms, the family decided to arrange a marriage for Zhang Mucheng to bring good fortune.
Zhang Mucheng was a local from Pudong. According to local customs, marrying an older wife was considered more auspicious and would bring a harmonious life. After a matchmaker’s introduction and comparing their birthdates, Zhang Mucheng’s mother chose Xu Dongying, who lived just a street away and was a year older than Zhang Mucheng.
The first meeting between Zhang Mucheng and Xu Dongying had a small twist. That day, Xu Dongying came to meet her future in-laws. At noon, Zhang Mucheng returned from the pharmacy and saw a petite woman he didn’t recognize but didn’t stop to investigate further. Xu Dongying, nervous on her first visit, also didn’t look around and naturally didn’t notice Zhang Mucheng. This was their first encounter—no love at first sight, no dramatic moment, just a brief glance.
Soon after, Zhang Mucheng’s mother passed away due to her illness. According to local customs, after a funeral, a wedding must be held immediately to drive away bad luck.
On October 30, 1930, Xu Dongying, dressed in traditional bridal attire, was carried in a sedan chair with red lanterns from Zhangqiao Westbank to Zhangqiao Eastbank. Although it was just a street away, Xu Dongying felt the journey was long. She had often fantasized about a fairy-tale romance, but now she was marrying a man she had never met, feeling anxious.
However, upon seeing Zhang Mucheng, her anxiety vanished. The young man, just over 20, was tall, thin, kind, and steady—just as she had imagined her husband. Overjoyed, she smiled unconsciously, a moment that Zhang Mucheng noticed. This was the second time he saw Xu Dongying, and now she was his wife. She wasn’t extraordinarily beautiful or graceful, but her sweet smile and petite figure made Zhang Mucheng want to protect her.
In those days, marriages were arranged by parents and matchmakers. Couples rarely knew each other before marriage, leading to inevitable dissatisfaction and disappointment upon meeting. It was rare for a couple like Zhang Mucheng and Xu Dongying to find each other pleasing from the start. Though they didn’t have sweet words of love or undying promises, they knew their meeting was a rare fate, and being together was their destiny.
From the day they married, Zhang Mucheng and Xu Dongying began weaving their unique fairy tale, enjoying the simplest happiness.
Complementary Personalities
Tall meets short, fat meets thin, quiet meets lively. It might seem mismatched, but they found joy and happiness in their differences. This harmony was not only due to their complementary personalities but also because of the power of mutual concession.
In the eyes of others, the couple’s long-lasting happiness was largely due to their complementary personalities.
Grandpa Zhang was quiet, enjoying listening to storytelling and reading books in his free time. When they could afford a TV, he often watched dramas and news. Grandma Xu was lively, often chatting with neighbors and gardening around the house. Their combination of quiet and lively was perfect! However, their dietary preferences were quite different.
Grandpa Zhang liked flavorful food, especially braised pork, while Grandma Xu preferred light, non-greasy dishes. Grandma Xu usually cooked, using very little oil, resulting in dishes Grandpa Zhang found dry and unappealing. Their eating habits were starkly different. For someone who loved braised pork, adjusting to a diet of greens was challenging.
Yet, Grandpa Zhang never complained. “I could argue for more oil, but she genuinely dislikes greasy food. If we argued, regardless of the outcome, the meal would lose its taste, and the argument would be pointless,” he said. To Grandpa Zhang, living together was about daily trivialities.
Any unhappiness was just a matter of who spoke more or less. With a bit of tolerance, they could turn big issues into small ones and small ones into nothing.
Thus, while complementary personalities helped, it was tolerance that truly created their happiness. Not everyone can resist the allure of braised pork and choose to yield to greens. Grandpa Zhang said that understanding and appreciating your partner’s efforts makes tolerance a habit. This realization stemmed from an incident many years ago.
Shortly after their marriage, they had their first child. Over the next few years, they had a total of eight children. To care for the family, Xu Dongying became a full-time housewife, relying on the income from Zhang Mucheng’s pharmacy. Money was tight, and Zhang Mucheng returned home for lunch daily to save money.
One day, after running errands, he was tired and hungry but found nothing in the pot. Thinking about working on an empty stomach in the afternoon, he was about to lose his temper. Seeing his wife hastily preparing food while juggling the children, his anger turned to sympathy.
Realizing the burden on his wife, he reassured her, “It’s okay, I’m not very hungry today, just make something simple.” Before leaving, he reminded her to take care of herself too. His words warmed Xu Dongying’s heart, knowing her husband recognized her efforts. From then on, she never forgot to prepare lunch, no matter how busy she was.
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
