Lost Love
The first time I saw Huang He was on my first day of university. He was helping Huang Li, my new roommate, settle into our dorm. As they entered, they immediately caught everyone’s attention.
The beautiful and petite Huang Li introduced herself with a clear, bright voice: “I’m Huang Li, pleased to meet you all!” Huang He, tall and handsome, quietly helped her organize her things, attending to every detail with such care and consideration.
After that, he visited frequently, sometimes bringing Huang Li food, other times doing her laundry or taking her out. Huang Li’s happiness was evident. I asked her if he was also a student at our university.
She replied, “Yes, he’s a sophomore in the English department. His name is Huang He.” After a while, she suddenly looked at me and asked, “Bai Yun, should I introduce you two?”
I joked, “Are you willing to share such a great boyfriend with someone else?” She laughed so hard she nearly choked on her food and said, “What are you talking about? He’s my older brother!” I was left speechless and embarrassed.
A year later, Huang He’s gaze towards me became intense, making my heart race. I knew I had hopelessly fallen in love with him. One day, he left Huang Li and, blushing, took my hand and led me out of the dorm.
I later asked Huang He why he loved me. He scrutinized me, stroking his chin, and after a long pause, said, “You’re pretty, maybe a second-look beauty. But you have an inner charm that’s incredibly captivating, something only a few can sense. My senses are very keen, which is why I fell for you.”
I joked, “Only dogs have the keenest senses, so are you a dog?” He immediately took my hands and, with a mysterious air, whispered in my ear, “You guessed right. I’m a dog, so my love and loyalty to you will never waver.”
In the first semester of my senior year, I became an intern at a newspaper, while Huang He, already graduated, worked at a publishing house. He was preparing for exams to study abroad, fulfilling his parents’ wishes.
I felt uncertain about our future. With his English skills, passing TOEFL or IELTS would be easy, but studying abroad was a distant dream for me due to my family’s financial situation.
I asked Huang He what I would do if he went abroad. He said if I believed in him, I should wait. If not, he wouldn’t go.
I knew he was sincere but also that there was no turning back for him. When he cautiously asked for my opinion, I painfully wrote, “Once gone, never to return, Huang He. White clouds float for thousands of years.” He saw this and, visibly nervous, said, “If I’d known you’d worry so much, I wouldn’t have taken the exam.”
Two days later, Huang He’s mother came to the newspaper to meet me. She took me to a nearby café, very politely offering me a seat and asking if I wanted sugar in my coffee. The more polite she was, the more nervous I became. She said, “You’re a good girl. No wonder Huang He would give up going abroad for you.”
She paused and suddenly asked, “Do you love him as much?”
Flustered, I nodded, “Yes.”
“Would you make sacrifices for him?”
Again, I nodded, “Yes.”
“Do you want him to have a better future, a brighter path?”
When I said yes, tears quietly fell. She said she had no other reason to meet me but to ask me to persuade Huang He not to give up his exams.
I reassured her, “Auntie, don’t worry. I’ll talk to him.”
By the end of December, Huang He’s visa to Vancouver was approved. When he excitedly told me, I was busy at the newspaper. Hearing the news, I felt an emptiness inside. Despite his daily visits to the newspaper, always by my side, I felt a sense of unreality. During a break, I asked, “Do you really love me?” He replied, “If you ask that again, I’ll tear up my visa.” I didn’t dare ask again, swallowing my tears.
In his last week, I took leave and stayed with him all day. Late at night, he would see me off on the last bus home, often tearfully asking me not to leave. I said, “I gave you my first kiss; I’ll save the most precious thing for our reunion.”
On his last night, I didn’t go home. We lay in bed, tightly embracing, listening to the snow-laden wind tapping on the window. We stayed like that all night, our hearts pure as the snow outside.
At dawn, I went with his family to see him off at Tianhe Airport. He sobbed, repeating, “Wait for me!”
During the Spring Festival, he wrote about Vancouver’s enchanting winter, the snowy mountains, and the mild city center, wishing we could ski together. When cherry blossoms bloomed at our alma mater, he marveled at Vancouver’s even more beautiful blossoms, wishing he could pick one for me. In July, as Wuhan sweltered, he described standing in downtown Vancouver in a short-sleeved shirt, seeing snow-capped mountains and the ocean, wishing we could see it together.
As I listened to his voice, I roamed job fairs and talent centers. In late September, a prestigious magazine invited me to join, ending my nomadic life and making the dream of crossing the ocean seem less distant.
But I couldn’t immediately share the news with Huang He. On the way to deliver this news, my bag was stolen, losing my wallet, phone, and contact list. The only way was to visit his home for his contact information, but no one answered despite my persistent ringing. A neighbor finally told me, “Don’t bother, they’ve all emigrated to Canada.” It dawned on me that the door behind me would never open again.
Unexpectedly, on my first day at the magazine, I met Lan Tian at the entrance. He cheerfully said, “Bai Yun, I’ve been waiting for you! We’re colleagues now, isn’t that surprising?”
Life is funny; you can’t escape what you want to avoid, and what you desire seems distant. Lan Tian had been pursuing me since the second semester of freshman year, and if I hadn’t torn them up, his love letters would stack up high.
During the days without news from Huang He, I threw myself into work, quickly becoming a regular employee. One day, on a whim, I asked Lan Tian if he wanted to see the cherry blossoms at Wuhan University. He was overjoyed. As he held my hand among the cherry blossoms, I heard a surprised exclamation behind me. Turning around, I saw Huang He’s mother, stunned.
I greeted her, “Auntie, hello! Where is Huang He?” She glanced at Lan Tian and asked, “And who is this?” I hurriedly introduced him as my colleague, then anxiously asked again, “Auntie, where is Huang He?”
She hesitated before saying, “Lan Tian? I’ve heard Huang Li mention him… Huang He asked me to find you to tell you he… he got married and is on his honeymoon in France. I couldn’t find your contact details, so I came to the university…” Before she could finish, Lan Tian interjected, “Auntie, thank you for your concern. We are also married and honeymooning in China!”
Under her surprised gaze, Lan Tian wrapped his arm around my waist and led me away. The next day, Lan Tian proposed to me, and I accepted without hesitation. Half a month later, we were married. On our wedding night, I placed a red rose on our bed as a tribute to my first love with Huang He.
Unexpectedly, three days after the wedding, Huang He returned. When he found my new home, he grabbed my shoulders, shouting, “Why didn’t you wait for me? Why?” I broke free and angrily retorted, “You got married. Why should I wait?”
Despairing, he collapsed on the sofa, tears streaming down his face. He explained that he had been frantic after losing contact with me, but was tied up with his PhD exams and couldn’t leave. He had asked his mother to find me, but she hadn’t found me and saw me with Lan Tian, assuming I had moved on. His mother, knowing about Lan Tian’s pursuit, lied to save face, saying Huang He was married.
But Huang He didn’t believe it and rushed back, hoping to bring me with him. It was fate; had he returned a few days earlier, our love might not have withered like cherry blossoms. Despite his disbelief in fate, he wanted to take me away. But I knew I was no longer the same Bai Yun. The pure white cloud in his eyes had turned into two streams of tears.
Five years have passed. I live a peaceful and warm life with Lan Tian. The crane that flew through my life now rests in a maple-leaf paradise across the ocean, never to return.
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
