Accompanying You Through Wind-Swept Withered Lotus
Those who love you in the bright spring sunshine may be many, but they are bygone; the one who loves you in the wind-swept withered lotus, one is enough.
On November 8th, General Cai E, suffering from laryngeal tuberculosis, passed away in Japan at the age of 34.
Upon hearing this news, Xiao Fengxian was inconsolable. Seeking a kindred spirit in a vast world, he was the greatest highlight of her life. Yet, it was just such a brief moment, he flashed across the night sky like a meteor and disappeared forever from her life. How could she face the long years ahead?
After presenting the elegiac couplet “Winning a hero’s understanding, the color of peach blossoms remains for a thousand autumns” at Cai E’s memorial service, Xiao Fengxian quietly left the Eight Hutongs.
Thereafter, she wandered, married a regimental commander, and the commander died in battle. For the sake of livelihood, she then followed a cook and lived in a small house in the third alley of Shouquan Street in Shenyang’s Huanggu District. Because her husband was surnamed Chen, the neighbors all called her “Chen Niang.” She gave herself a meaningful name: Zhang Xifei.
Chen was an honest man. He vaguely knew she was an extraordinary woman, but about the past, she did not speak, and he did not ask. She had no job and lived only on his meager income. Their north wing room was a narrow ten square meters, and the house was almost devoid of furniture.
The only decent item was a small alarm clock that called him to work every day. He always felt he had wronged her. Therefore, anything she liked, as long as he could manage, he did his best to satisfy her.
Her only hobby was drinking; she drank two cups with almost every meal. At such times, he would roll up his sleeves and prepare two dishes for her to drink with, occasionally drinking two cups with her. Because of his warmth, their mundane life had a bit of flavor.
Her only pleasure was listening to opera. A performance would captivate her as if she were in another world.
Toward him and life, she remained content. She did not care about clothes but loved cleanliness, often washing her few ordinary clothes until they were spotless. When worn by her, they were quite distinctive.
She carried a small bundle with her, which contained a photo of a young and handsome officer. He asked once, and she smiled faintly, softly answering, “An ordinary friend.”
Time raced forward, and their life became more and more difficult. Helplessly, she became a nanny.
She met an old acquaintance, the only link to her past life. The acquaintance was Mei Lanfang.
At the beginning of 1951, Mei Lanfang led a troupe to North Korea to entertain the volunteer soldiers. Passing through Shenyang, he performed there. Hearing this news, she wanted very much to see this old friend from Beijing and seek his help, so she wrote him a letter.
A few days later, she received an invitation from Mei Lanfang to meet, and she was overjoyed. She wore her best clothes and dressed up as if for a festival to see Mei Lanfang.
By then, she was over fifty, having endured life’s hardships and suffering. Meeting an old friend was beyond words.
Through Mei’s recommendation, she became a health worker at an organization school. Those were the most peaceful days of her life. She was very active and participated in various activities.
However, she never told anyone who she was. In everyone’s eyes, she was just an ordinary woman named Zhang Xifei.
When the movie “The Confidant” was being screened everywhere, she also hid in the crowd and watched it once. Seeking a kindred spirit, was that couple on the screen really her and General Cai? The love in the old times had faded as if it were someone else’s life.
She no longer remembered much of Xiao Fengxian’s life, the fancy clothes, music, chess, calligraphy, and painting, the comings and goings. Then, like a spark, she met the man of her life. He was like a light, illuminating her entire life. Then the light went out, and her life dimmed.
She lived with the man surnamed Chen for most of her life. She never really understood him. She merely used him to escape the memory in her heart. But he gave her all the warmth of a home. She was an intelligent woman and understood that even if General Cai had lived, their relationship might just have been a beautiful story, that’s all.
And he, with true heart, treated her. He hoped all her wounds would heal in the ordinary days, like the porridge and rice he made, simple but nourishing.
She was very grateful to have met him. He stayed by her side, giving her the simplest warmth. That was enough, wasn’t it?
In 1976, she finally finished her winding life’s path and died of illness at the age of 76. She collapsed beside the public toilet near her home, suffering a sudden cerebral hemorrhage. People carried her to the hospital emergency room, but she could not be saved.
He trembled as he placed the photo that had followed her all her life into her pocket. Tears streamed down his deeply furrowed face.
In a lifetime, he never said the word love to her. He was not the confidant of Xiao Fengxian or the woman who renamed herself Zhang Xifei, but some feelings seep into the blood, thicker than water.
That was also love.
The one who accompanied her through every declining day of her life was not General Cai, but him.
Those who love you in the bright spring sunshine may be many, but they are bygone; the one who loves you in the wind-swept withered lotus, one is enough.
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
