A Love That Cannot Hold Hands
We first met that summer. I was sitting on the lawn, lost in thought. You suddenly appeared and said something that surprised me, pulling me back to reality. I asked, “What’s the matter?” You said you wanted me to be your brother, even though I didn’t know you at the time. After a moment, I agreed, seeing the clear, pure look in your eyes. I smiled.
Your name was Nuo. It gave me a sense of familiarity and a good feeling, and I quickly developed feelings for you. After that day, we were often together. I loved basketball and was a vibrant young boy, standing 178 cm tall, known as the basketball prince at school. You were mischievous and adorable, and we were seen as a perfect pair.
No one understood why you wanted me as your brother. When asked, you always smiled and didn’t answer. I thought that just being by your side was happiness. Like all lovers, we often played around, filling the world with our laughter. Days with you were filled with joy. Every afternoon, I would play basketball, and you were always there, cheering me on loudly.
During breaks, you would run over, hand me water, and wipe my sweat. At that moment, I felt like a child surrounded by happiness, watching your serious expression as you wiped my sweat, wishing this could last forever.
One afternoon, I took you to the seaside. Watching the sunset and listening to the waves, you said you loved hearing the sea talk and liked sitting quietly by the shore. As the sky darkened, we sat back to back, chatting. You said you wished I could be with you forever. I smiled and asked why. You said it was a feeling you were born with, making you want to say that. I was secretly delighted.
Your birthday was coming up, and I planned to give you a special celebration. I thought for a long time and finally came up with a good idea. I hadn’t spent much time with you these days, saying I was busy, using various excuses to have time to prepare for your special birthday. I went around the city, buying many things, waiting quietly for the day to come.
Finally, it was your birthday. I pretended not to know and acted as usual, talking and joking with you. Seeing you was happiness for me. In the evening, I held your hand and took you to the seaside. You asked, “Brother, look, what are those people doing?” I said, “Nuo, let’s go and see.” Fireworks burst into the sky, dazzling against the sea backdrop.
Everyone shouted in unison, “Nuo, happy birthday.”
I saw your surprised and joyful expression. You jumped into my arms, and I quietly enjoyed the hug, the closest we had ever been. After a while, I whispered, “Nuo, look, this is my birthday gift for you. I heard you like flowers, so I bought pink roses and a plush bunny. Do you like them?” I saw your radiant smile and said, “Sister, your smile is so beautiful.”
You continued to be by my side, spinning around like a playful deer. Having you around was comforting and never boring.
Sometimes I would daydream, often wondering what our future would be like. You always asked what I was thinking about. I said I was thinking about the future. Your curious look was adorable, making me laugh until my stomach hurt. You would then pout and call me a bad brother.
At that moment, I would gently look at you, stroke your hair, and say, “Sister, you’re so beautiful.” You blushed and lowered your head.
Winter break came, and not seeing you made me uneasy. I often wondered what you were doing when I wasn’t around. Without you, I often daydreamed for a long time.
Valentine’s Day was approaching, and I thought it was time to ask you to be my girlfriend. I didn’t know if saying that would make you uncomfortable. I had a special ring custom-made just for us, imagining the scene of that day. I thought we would be very happy.
On Valentine’s Day, it snowed. I arranged to meet you at the amusement park, planning to surprise you. I waited a long time, but you didn’t show up. I stood in the snow, shivering, watching people come and go, and gradually, the crowd thinned out. I waited all night, but you never came. I realized I hadn’t contacted you much while preparing to confess. I called your phone, but it was disconnected.
Panicking, I ran to your house. Your mom opened the door, and I called her “Auntie.” I saw her tear-streaked face. She said, “Come in.” I sat quietly across from her and asked what had happened. She cried and said you were gone, that it was cancer. She said you had left something for me, to be given to me later. Holding the box, I didn’t know how I got home. I opened it and found a letter from you.
“Brother, from the moment I met you, I liked you. Two years ago, I passed by the playground and saw you playing basketball. I was attracted to you and watched you play every day. I wanted to keep watching you quietly, liking you was enough. But one day, two years later, I suddenly felt unwell and was taken to the hospital.
The doctor said it was advanced cancer. I cried, not because I was dying, but because I wouldn’t see you again. So I decided to stay by your side until the end. That day, you were daydreaming as usual. I knew you would do that when you were alone.
From the beginning, I had been quietly watching you from a distance. But that day, I gathered the courage to run to you and ask you to be my brother. I thought only then could you stay with me, and only then would I not restrict your chance to like someone else. Because of love, I didn’t want to bind you, only to have your company until the end.
Brother, every day with you was joyful. I loved your care and attention, loved being close to you. Remember the birthday you celebrated for me at the seaside? I was so happy. That was my happiest moment.
After the break, I felt lost. I couldn’t be with you every day. Brother, thank you for accompanying me through the last part of my life. I didn’t know when I would suddenly leave this world. Brother, your birthday hasn’t arrived yet, so I prepared this gift in advance. It’s a heart-shaped crystal ball with ‘I love you’ engraved on it. If I suddenly leave, don’t be sad. I will become an angel, guarding you, watching you be happy.”
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
