A Fable of Love: The Pursuit Switch
I once came across a joke: a trainee doctor was interning at a mental hospital when suddenly a madman lunged at him with a cleaver. The doctor turned and ran, the madman chasing him until he cornered him in a dead end. Just as the trainee doctor was about to close his eyes in despair, the madman said, “Here, take the knife; it’s your turn to chase me now.”
I had a conversation with a middle-aged man who shared that his wife was stunningly beautiful in her youth and came from a well-off family. He felt that he couldn’t match her in any way, so he pursued her with great effort. He studied all the strategies of love, using every trick in the book—just one trick short of success. In the end, he not only won an exceptional wife but also learned a lot about strategies, a real two-for-one deal!
“What about now?” I asked.
He replied, “Now it’s her turn to chase me! I’ve become successful and am no longer poor. I bought her a luxury home and provided a comfortable life; she treats me wonderfully. Now she’s always trying to figure out ways to win me over.”
“Ah, the ‘pursuit switch’—what a new term!” I laughed.
Then I chatted with a 20-year-old guy who said, “Sister, I’m dating a girl, but I don’t know if she loves me.”
I asked, “How could you not know if she loves you?”
He said, “I always feel like I’m too good to her, while she doesn’t seem to reciprocate as much.”
Suddenly, I remembered the theory of “pursuit switch.” I advised him, “Maybe you’re giving too much. Remember, a home is for everyone, not just one person. If you feel you’re doing more, let her also learn to contribute. Don’t pursue too tightly; loosen your grip and let her chase you a bit.”
After some time, I received a message from him: “Sister, your advice really worked! She treats me so much better now!” It turns out that love truly is about “the pursuit switch!”
Looking back, is your love unconsciously switching the pursuit? Some people chase so fast that it’s suffocating, like the madman at the beginning; others are skilled, like the middle-aged man; and some are just confused, like the 20-year-old.
The concept of love as a “pursuit switch” is like water flowing downhill—there’s a drop, so it flows smoothly. Both the pursuer and the pursued find happiness in this dynamic, making the pursuit feel willingly shared, which leads to greater happiness in life.
For those in love, when you choose to pursue, you should have good reasons—attributes or qualities that attract you to the other person. Perhaps you admire their charisma, personality, strengths, or even their flaws. On the other hand, for the pursued, you must radiate a captivating charm that draws the pursuer in. Without that allure, the relationship may become dull, like holding hands with oneself.
Thus, for those in love, it’s essential to maintain a lasting, enchanting fragrance that allows both to engage in the “pursuit switch”—not just for a moment, but for a lifetime.
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
