True Marriage
A classic saying by Xiao Bian from First Article Network: When tomorrow becomes today, today becomes yesterday, and finally becomes an insignificant day in our memories, we suddenly find ourselves unconsciously pushed forward by time.
This is not the illusion of progress when a stationary train intersects with an adjacent train, but a real growth where we become another version of ourselves.
Ask a woman with little dating experience about her ideal partner, and you will find they can list all sorts of conditions, such as: gentle, considerate, responsible, loving, filial, wealthy, masculine, or no bad habits, able to support a family, well-educated, tall, and some even hope for a good profession: doctor, lawyer, and some prefer soldiers…
Those who have dated or entered marriage know that these conditions, no matter how good, can turn a perfect couple into a resentful one over time. Love that was once passionate can turn into deep-seated resentment within a few years. Gentleness and consideration might just be temporary illusions.
A responsible person might demand more responsibility from you, always feeling that their responsibilities are heavier and more important than yours. Someone who loves you might love you in the wrong way, making you feel like a dense rock that can never absorb their love.
Some people’s love is like water after a typhoon; while nourishing you, it also brings silt, and the love gets overshadowed by jealousy.
You might choose to entrust your life to someone because of their filial piety, only to find that this very reason becomes why you leave them, feeling neglected because of their excessive filial piety.
Wealth might be there, but you might not get to use it, or worse, get entangled in a large family. I know a woman who was beautiful and talented, financially independent, but married a rich man out of spite after a failed romance. She ended up working hard every day, without a break all year, with her salary at the whim of her father-in-law.
Only after leaving did she realize she had miscalculated her investment returns. The worst part was discovering she never loved that worthless playboy, despite having children with him.
A masculine man might turn out to be irritable or even violent. What was charming initially might become a deadly attraction later.
No bad habits sound like a basic condition, but if that’s all he has, you might find him to be a boring person, making life together feel like drinking flavorless porridge every day.
If you choose a profession, such as a doctor, lawyer, or successful businessman, you might end up regretting your choice, feeling like the spouse of a busy man with no time for you, leading to a lower quality of love than expected.
Of course, you could also think positively: if he has no time for you, you might gain more freedom. But before you met him, you already had unrestricted freedom, and marriage or love is not just for gaining freedom.
We often overlook the fundamental character of a good lover. What is the primary condition for happiness? I believe a good lover’s fundamental quality is respect.
A woman should learn to find a man who respects her, considering her rights and prioritizing her happiness.
Only then can he provide the security she needs without exploiting or oppressing her under the guise of love and marriage. Respect brings trust.
Many men fear feminists, possibly equating them with tigresses. Let’s not talk about ideologies or uninteresting theoretical issues; simply put, he must be someone who doesn’t favor boys over girls, treating you as an equal. He should place you on the same level as himself, respecting your life goals and joys. Your happiness should make him happy, and his happiness should not make you unhappy.
Some women believe a chauvinist man can provide a secure haven, but a man who protects women should not be confused with a chauvinist. A chauvinist favors boys over girls and will revert to his nature after the passionate love fades, making decisions without considering you. A man who respects others at least has a clear mind, which is crucial for effective communication and problem-solving in this era.
The fundamental condition for happiness is simple: respect. Similarly, a man should find a woman who respects others and herself to make their love flourish. Without respect, all ideal conditions are just decorative, lacking the support to withstand challenges. If you want to test his love for you, instead of asking if he loves you, ask him about his views on having children. This will reveal if he is your ideal partner and if he respects you.
If you have issues with your own views, reflect on why he should value you more than himself. Why are you worth his respect if you cannot view yourself equally?
The fundamental quality of a good lover is respect!
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
