Teenage Crush: Whose youth hasn’t been stirred by love?
At that time, we were all just eighteen. Eighteen, a blossoming age, filled with dreams and hopes for the future, and curiosity and affection for the opposite sex. At eighteen, I was graceful and elegant, the object of admiration for many boys in the class. But I wasn’t interested in those who showed affection towards me.
Like all the other girls in the class, I secretly liked Yang Jun. Yang Jun was the class monitor, good at studying, tall and handsome. On one occasion, I saw a girl deliberately talking to him, and he was so nervous that he didn’t know where to put his hands, sweating on his forehead, and blushing. My heart pounded inexplicably. In this society, boys who blush are becoming rare, and he was so handsome too.
In our senior year, the teachers repeatedly emphasized not to fall in love early and constantly promoted the disadvantages of early relationships. The boys and girls in the class kept clear boundaries, and no one dared to cross the line. A senior from the previous year was expelled from school because his secret relationship was exposed.
Although I was outgoing, I didn’t dare to openly show my feelings for Yang Jun. At eighteen, I didn’t understand what love was, I just liked the feeling of secretly observing him, as if there was an invisible thread winding in my heart, which I couldn’t untangle.
But I couldn’t let my classmates, especially the teachers, find out that I liked Yang Jun. I could only quietly like him in my heart. However, in class and public occasions, there were many times when I deliberately contradicted Yang Jun, making him lose face.
Every time we had a class meeting, when class monitor Yang Jun said east, I said west. When he proposed a class outing, I suggested holding a candlelight event at school to relieve stress instead. I meant no harm, I just wanted to catch Yang Jun’s attention. I always felt that Yang Jun was aloof and ignored me.
Although many boys showed affection towards me, I always turned a blind eye to them, not giving them a good face. How could an eighteen-year-old girl, proud and arrogant, tolerate the boy she liked ignoring her? I always walked gracefully in front of him, always smiling gently at him, but he didn’t react at all.
To get his attention, I racked my brains. But contradicting him didn’t feel good and went against my wishes, especially seeing Yang Jun’s puzzled and frowning face, I felt sad too. But besides this, I didn’t know how else to get his attention.
Every time Yang Jun was rebutted by me, he appeared helpless. How could his clumsy words compete with my eloquence? Sometimes during arguments, the more anxious he was, the less coherent he became, and the more incoherent he was, the angrier he got, his face turning livid. He didn’t understand why I always targeted him, opposing him and embarrassing him.
As graduation approached, it became harder to control my feelings for Yang Jun. I knew that after graduation, I might miss this pure affection. I hoped he could understand my feelings. So, I spent an entire night racking my brains to write a tender letter to Yang Jun. It was my first love letter. I thought, since graduation was near, it wouldn’t matter if Yang Jun rejected me, and no one would discover my secret.
I secretly slipped the letter into Yang Jun’s book, pretending to be nonchalant but nervously watching his every move. When I saw him discover the letter, my heart pounded. Yang Jun secretly unfolded the letter, reading it hidden under his book.
After reading it, he even turned his head to look at me. I was full of joy, blushing and lowering my head, not daring to look at him. During the entire class, I couldn’t calm down, constantly wondering what Yang Jun would write in his reply? Did he like me too?
Finally, the bell rang, and I lay on my desk, looking at the clear sky outside the window, feeling delighted. I thought Yang Jun would quickly pass the note to me. But at the end of the school day, what I received was the stern scolding from the class teacher.
The class teacher was a middle-aged woman, sharp-tongued, criticizing me for not respecting myself, knowing how to write love letters to boys at such a young age, and finally asked me to bring my parents to school. I never expected this outcome, and I cried bitterly, feeling extreme hatred for Yang Jun.
The news of me writing a love letter to Yang Jun quickly spread throughout the school, causing a sensation. Girls stopped talking to me, calling me frivolous; boys avoided me. Suddenly, I became the most notorious girl in school, the target of everyone’s ridicule.
Walking in the school, I felt like there were needles in my back, and even at home, I sensed the neighbors gossiping behind my back. My parents were also humiliated and couldn’t hold their heads high. My father even beat me severely and locked me in my room, not allowing me to go out.
During that period, it felt like I had fallen into hell. Years later, I still regret it deeply. I didn’t take the college entrance exam because the school forced me to drop out. Leaving school, I went to work in a relative’s factory. I could never go back to school, and my dream of university was shattered. I hated Yang Jun; even if he didn’t like me, he didn’t need to give my love letter to the teacher, didn’t need to spread it around, ruining my reputation. The beautiful years of being eighteen were shattered by that love letter.
Whose youth hasn’t been stirred by love? Who could have thought that youth could be so cruel, that a love letter could change the course of my life?
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
