Stories: I Will Smile and Forget You
At sixteen, you gave me a Smurf.
At seventeen, you gave me a Karen Mok CD and a bouquet of lilies.
At eighteen, you gave me a hug and said, “Smurfette, live well.”
Proud as I was, I raised my eyebrows, held back tears, and pretended not to care as I brushed off the hand you placed on my shoulder, retorting, “Who’s your little sister? I’m not your little sister.”
It wasn’t until the plane you were on left the ground and this city that I dropped all my pretense, turned around, and cried uncontrollably.
Jiao Zhi’ang, after you left, I swore I would forget you, smile, and forget you.
So, from then on, I rarely cried.
In the second semester of my junior year, I began to like running to University C next to our school.
Every time An Ge saw me, he would smirk and say, “Little girl, here to choose a husband again?”
I would glare at him. The last time he came to my school, he saw a boy confessing to me, and I rejected him. The boy asked why, and I couldn’t think of a reason, so I pointed earnestly towards University C and made up a story, saying, “I already like someone, and he is at University C.”
Since An Ge had caught onto this, he would tease me about it whenever I ran to University C.
Actually, I often wanted to settle it violently, but because you were standing next to him, I had to act cute and grand, waving my hand and saying, “I’m just here to grab a meal.”
You were An Ge’s good friend, and last time you came to my school with him. But instead of teasing me with An Ge, you always smiled and helped me out, saying, “Smurfette, you’re just in time. Today the cafeteria has your favorite garlic chicken wings and puff pastry soup.”
The food at University C was famously good, and I ate in the cafeteria until I was stuffed. An Ge said, “No ladylike manners at all.”
You defended me, saying, “She’s carefree and straightforward, that’s very cute.”
I immediately took advantage of your support, glaring at An Ge and saying, “Hear that! You don’t understand true beauty at all. Jiao Zhi’ang’s taste is the standard everyone should follow.”
“Jiao Zhi’ang, Jiao Zhi’ang, so rude,” An Ge scolded me, “It’s Zhi’ang brother.”
This time, you smiled and played along, “Yes, Smurfette, after all this time, I’ve never heard you call me brother.”
“We’re not related, it’s too cheesy to call you brother,” I explained seriously.
“And don’t call me Smurfette, it sounds awful!” I protested, waving my arms.
You laughed, “How could it be awful? Smurfette in the Smurfs is so cute. Plus, the first time I met you, you were wearing a white hat and a blue jacket, just like her.”
“I don’t like Smurfette at all,” I pouted, “She’s a crybaby and troublemaker who always drags others down.”
Even An Ge agreed with me for once, “Yeah, Wei Lan is nothing like a fragile Smurfette.”
Then he changed his tone, “You should see how she struts around our school. She has people wash her dishes and carry her dirty clothes. A bunch of boys and girls follow her around like she’s Empress Dowager Cixi. If she were near me, I’d beat her up.”
“That’s charisma,” I said proudly, raising my eyebrows at An Ge.
An Ge snorted and stopped arguing with me. You watched us bicker and laughed heartily.
I secretly watched you laugh, feeling my heart bloom.
Jiao Zhi’ang, it’s not that I don’t like the boys at school, but they can’t compare to you.
You have a bright and clear demeanor, your face is as beautiful as the breeze and clouds, and when you smile, it’s like the sun breaking through the clouds.
You see, that first sentence I said, “I have someone I like, and he’s at University C,” was like a prophecy, which came true.
After you left, An Ge no longer joked around with me. Every time I saw him, I could see his cautious concern in his eyes.
“Wei Lan, are you okay?”
The first time An Ge asked me this, my eyes immediately filled with tears.
I quickly shook my head, letting the tears that were about to fall shatter on the ground. I didn’t want to cry.
“I’m fine, what’s wrong with me? Look, I’m perfectly fine.” I forced a smile at An Ge.
“That’s good,” An Ge said.
I said I would smile and forget you, and I will do it.
What is the best way to forget someone? When I was in school, I read various romance healing texts. They said the best way to forget a relationship is to start a new one. But did I have a relationship with you, Jiao Zhi’ang?
This question is ridiculous, and I can’t answer it. And you obviously can’t give me an answer.
I don’t want to fall into those clichéd love stories. I, Luo Wei Lan, chose a harder but more thorough way: I got into University C. I want to face the familiar environment every day, to witness every moment I spent with you and An Ge. I want to shed my long tail in the immersion of those times—I don’t want a tail, I don’t want to be a mermaid.
Time is racing against me, and I’m running hard, but I’m about to win.
When I see An Ge, sometimes I don’t even think of you.
An Ge got into University C for graduate school, so he could stay on campus with me. This might be good or bad for me. But An Ge did it for me.
The quiet nights on University C’s campus are like heavenly music. An Ge invited me for a slow walk on the basketball court. An Ge was unusually silent. “Wei Lan, now that Jiao Zhi’ang is gone, maybe I can take care of you instead.”
Hearing An Ge’s words, I wasn’t surprised, but I didn’t accept. It’s not that An Ge isn’t good or that he’s not as good as you, but—if the person replacing you is him, then you will always be a shadow in my life, one I can never erase.
I told An Ge this reason frankly.
An Ge was silent for a long time, then finally smiled and said, “Wei Lan, you’ve grown up. I believe you can take care of yourself.”
No need to say more.
Every emotional experience makes a person grow. That growth is forced, irreversible. A stubborn life, the more bleeding and torn the heart, the more it can bloom like a flower.
When “To Our Youth” was released, I went to see it alone, with no one accompanying me. I watched it quietly. Many people liked Zheng Wei; I liked her too. Brave, pure, and reckless girls like her are rare nowadays, almost extinct in today’s college campuses.
I admired that character, but I wouldn’t act like her. If I could be like her, maybe our ending would be beautiful. You are so kind and soft-hearted, you would never be as ruthless as Chen Xiaozheng in the movie, right? But I am not like her. I look forward to a natural relationship, like fruit ripening and water flowing smoothly. Before that, I can enjoy it, obey, indulge my thoughts, and continue to be the mischievous Smurfette in An Ge’s mouth.
I am stubborn, not brave enough, but you knew that from the start, didn’t you?
An Ge knew too, so his comfort was so serious, even offering himself.
Time flies too fast, so fast that people can’t keep up.
After the new school year started, I qualified to be called a senior.
How interesting—back then, I longed for this place, admired this school, and missed you—everything is here.
Everything back then was so beautiful.
My roommate dragged me to the student union’s welcome event. There were many people, and I carried a chair through the crowd.
“Senior, let us handle this,” a boy’s voice, clear and clean, full of sunshine. I was surprised by his voice and turned around: a pair of crescent-shaped eyes looked at me with a smile. “Senior, I am Chang Yunzhou, a freshman in the business management department. Please take care of me.”
His bright and clear demeanor, his light and breezy smile, his slightly shy voice—Chang Yunzhou, a familiar yet uniquely flavored aura emanated from him, completely covering the old memories.
“Hello, Chang Yunzhou, I am Luo Wei Lan, a second-year in the business management department. Nice to meet you.”
The unfamiliar back in front of me and the clear, transparent voice were new.
I couldn’t help but smile. My old memories began to fill with new blood. This is truly a new beginning.
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
