You Are the Person I Miss But Don’t Want to See
“I no longer understand your current life, nor am I that interested anymore. I don’t hope to leave any particular impression on you, nor do I imagine what place I hold in your heart. Whether you tell me or not, whether you appear in my life or disappear, it no longer matters to me.”
I have a story that I once didn’t know if I should tell you, and now I don’t know how to tell you. The fate between lives is inherently shallow; we are thrilled when we meet, but after a brief period, we lose each other. If we don’t miss each other, there is no need to greet each other anymore.
I walk slowly under the streetlights, and from now on, not disturbing you is the best I can do. The street after the rain is hazy, whose heart is blurred, whose eyes are obscured? When you left, it snowed heavily, the fields are in full spring bloom, but my heart remains in an endless winter.
That year, you came, stepping under a clear starry sky. I closed my eyes and quietly felt everything around me: flowers blooming, grass growing, insects chirping, birds singing, and emotions bursting out of my chest with such force that tears streamed down my face. I heard the flames slowly burning, I heard the clear spring water gently flowing.
That kind of joy was like the first sprout in the corner of a spring wall reaching your window, bringing life with the breeze. After so many lonely days, I finally grasped a ray of sunshine. Thus timid and crazy, you were my moonlight, my white snow, my waves of wheat… You reflected in every part of my world, giving me light.
This world has too many people, every city is crowded and busy. I didn’t wait for that spring rain, but I waited for you. Do you know how happy I was? I thought that as long as I made a wish, as long as I was devout enough, I could keep you. The joy in between turned into empty happiness. I was reluctant to give up, yet I couldn’t bear to recall.
Later, you left like that. You said you never intended to hurt me, you said you hoped I would be happy. But I could only smile, isn’t not being loved the greatest hurt? Tears symbolize sadness, yet I couldn’t cry them out.
Time only tastes lightly, but my longing is deep and constant. The memory of love still carries warmth, foolishly making me believe that as long as I still believe, love will exist. I have asked myself countless times, why can’t love be rewarded with diligence?
Why could you be so decisive? But, no matter how many times I asked, no matter how eagerly I wanted to know the answer, the only response I got was the silence of the sea and the long, dark night.
I no longer announce to others that I have given up on you. Because true letting go is always silent. Some year, some month, some day, it turns out, what I was afraid of was not being unable to let go of you, but that one day, I suddenly no longer like you.
Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “
