A Love Fairy Tale: Your Gentleness, My Obsession

For twenty years, I climbed through a time filled with thorns. My body and soul slowly grew through the bleeding and scarring, finally forming a cocoon like armor, making me impervious to pain.

You said: “Talk more, I want to hear your voice, no matter what you say.”

You said: “July, do you never complain or express your hardships?”

You said: “July, I know, you’re not afraid of pain.”

I often wondered how you felt when you said these things. Or if I could read anything from your eyes. But a barrier blurred the view between us. No matter how hard I tried to open my eyes wide, I couldn’t see anything clearly. Instead, there was a pain in my throat, incomparable to any physical or emotional pain, making me want to cry uncontrollably.

Your gentleness had no trace of domination. So much so that I could easily break free from your embrace, turn around, and let my tears fall in the silent darkness. You said nothing more, only gently stroked my hair, over and over.

For twenty years, I climbed through a time filled with thorns. My body and soul slowly grew through the bleeding and scarring, finally forming a cocoon like armor, making me impervious to pain. Yet now, under your gentle words, everything crumbled.

I fear pain, more than anyone. But there was no one to tell.

The night was quiet, oppressive, and painful.

Tears seemed to never run dry, no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop them.

Your hand stroked my head, slid down the line of my face to my shoulder. Gently but irresistibly, you turned my trembling shoulders and pulled me into your embrace. The emotions that had been suppressed for so long finally burst forth, and I cried as I never had before.

You held me, your hand constantly stroking my head.

Then, you said: “I know, there is no girl who isn’t afraid of pain. But you never say it. I’m clumsy, I don’t know how to make you speak out, I don’t want to see you cry, but this is all I can do. Cry, cry as much as you need. I’m here, I’ll always be here.”

The night was long, and the tears soaked the moonlight.

Just like that, I fell asleep beside you, struggling between pain and love.

Perhaps, this is why I fell in love with you.

You never use any flowery words to make me happy, yet you can easily make me drop any pretense. With your silent love, you build walls where I can release all my emotions without fear of getting hurt.

But sometimes, I really hate you for this. I’ve told you more than once, everyone has their own story, and I don’t want to share my heart with anyone. I fear the cold, but I fear warmth and sunlight even more. A little is enough; too much, and I’m afraid of getting burned.

So, you see, I fear pain, more than anyone.

You always had that calm look, then repeated: “Strong-willed, silly girl, what I want to give you is heaven.”

With you here, it is heaven.

Thank you for reading! ” Sitestorys “